01 January 2007, 0159
The ball in Time Square has dropped, announcing to all in song and cheer and kisses that a new year has begun. The world around me is celebrating with screams, loud music, confetti flying above their heads, and fireworks lighting up the sky. Here in my house all is quiet and peaceful. The children sleeping soundly in their beds while the water pipes are creaking, and the moon is brightly shinning in the window – it appears oddly large on this new night/morning – as it reminds of the one true light that I will need to look toward in the journey ahead, allowing the light to guide each step, day-by-day, minute-by-minute – baby steps. Resolutions seem to be the tradition with each New Year but by the arrival of my birthday I wonder if the application, dedication, and commitment will have faded far from my mind. Nonetheless, I will write them here as a reminder throughout my year – less stress, eat healthier, increase exercise, make new friends but keep the old, become debt free and begin my savings, no more looking for love instead allow love to find me, always look to the Lord as He shall direct my paths, read scripture daily, increase my prayers and the focus spent of them to be more on my children, family, and friends, read a new book each month, become involved with projects and prospects that will not merely impact my life but the lives of those around me, learn to be a better mother – a godly mother – applying the knowledge learned, seek wisdom, be a friend (a better friend), be a giver (above and beyond present giving)… believe that this is my year! With each sunrise and sunset be thankful – laugh more and cry less, smile and wink at all I see… just live and enjoy the ride!
01 January 2007, 2303
It is days like today that I’m reminded of childlike love and trust. The simplest pleasures bring the greatest joy and the sweetness of a child’s love and affection melts away all coldness one can build in their hearts. I’m awaken by my children crawling in my bed as they joyfully bellow out for all to hear, “Happy New Year, Mommy!” while they squeeze my cheeks and kiss my lips. There is nothing sweeter than this moment, as I breathe it in the joyous air waves of excitement exploding in the room. (I must stop to reflect again on the moment…). We spent hours today playing and loving on one another as if there were no other in the world. It was glorious – grandiose! At day’s end, my cheeks were again squeezed and my lips were kissed, as I heard whispers of little voices saying, “Are we saying our night-night prayers and giving God thanks? Say them with us Mommy, please!” It’s in that moment, in those very words, I am assured I am loved, that my children have faith – I have planted a seed and indeed it is growing. I hear my little girl say, “… God please protect the soldiers fighting for us and be with their families…” and a tear falls down my cheek. With as much gusto as ever my son shouts, “Dear God, Oh dear God! Please let it snow tonight! And put a rainbow in the sky in the morning too! Amen!” How blessed am I – humbled and thankful and loved.
Three years and a couple months later I can report the following: the stress has highs and lows – like riding a rollercoaster, the exercise has increased, I have made new friends while maintaining the old and against all odds – regretfully – lost a few along the way, I am now debt free, love did find me – on so many levels, in reading my scripture daily I have found my eyes focused on Him who is the conductor of each of my scores, reading considerably increased, involvement eminently impacted – aftershock ripples are ever so present today, still learning to be the godly mother, still seeking knowledge and wisdom, still believing that this is my year – each new year is my year (something new, undoubtedly, will come), I am still thankful, still blessed, and I have indeed learned to live!
While I cannot say that it all happened in 2007 it makes a wonderful reflection, for example: I wrote the words just live and enjoy the ride having no idea that a year later I would become involved in a class that would change my life, giving me the tools to do just that – accumulating experiences while enjoying the journey! Some of you would not know me today if it’d not been for making a resolution, allowing God to work it all out in His timing. While I thought I had to cram all these changes, life applications, into one year, I’m reminded that it is never our timing that keeps us on the path we are meant to walk but indeed it is the one true light, teaching us to put one foot in front of the other – baby steps – arriving in His perfect timing.
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