I’m with Stupid!

“Everyone has a right to be stupid; some people just abuse the privilege.”

Have you ever fallen out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down?  You’re not alone. I feel like I’ve been doing this my whole life. That is of course, after my “ta-da” moment last week.

For the longest time now, as mentioned in previous writings, I am told that I am a strong person. Each time someone says this to me, I just want to scream and rip my hair out. I don’t feel strong. I feel like I get through life just the same as the next person, dealing with the crap that is handed me the same way it has always been handed me. Perhaps the shovels are different at times but let’s face it, crap is crap no matter the serving utensil. Alas, I digress…

I am humbled by the fact that there are those that believe me to be strong but my face looks at them dumb-founded wondering why they don’t realize that it’s not me that is strong, it is Him that is within me that is strong. It is through His strength that I am able to press forward in this life and His strength alone. Why would someone think that I am strong? I’m scared out-of-my-mind 99.9999% of the time.

The other week, my pastor shared a story with us about a man who shared a story with him. He said this man explained to him how these men of God (preachers, I believe) were strong and courageous men in the Lord because military men (I think) walked into their service and put a gun to their head, telling them to say something denouncing Christ and they would live, otherwise they would be killed. These men, of course, took their stand for Christ and were killed. The man told my pastor that they would probably make some movie about these courageous men, reflecting them as strong men, soldiers with shoulders squared back and marching proudly toward their death, but… for those that were there, they know that these men did not go out that way. These men took their stance for Christ yet were dragged out, trembling in fear, for what was about to come. They were fearful, scared, yet strong in the Lord.

“TA-DA!” says me.

I can be scared out of my mind yet strong in the Lord at the same time.

Who knew?!?! (stupid!)

When I heard Him say to me that I must let go of the old in order for Him to give me the new and then give me a deadline in which to do so, I had no clue that it would be such a massive undertaking. I stand in my bedroom gazing at an item that I love that must go and I ask, “Must that really go? You mean only the things that I don’t like or that are obvious reminders, right?”

“No. Let go of what was and grasp hold of what is.”

I stand in my kitchen, cupboards open, shocked by the things I see… crying I say, “Lord! Really? I don’t have the funds to replace all these things! If people knew the extreme level of what I was truly doing, they would think me insane! I can’t do this!”

“Yes you can.”

“No Lord, I can’t. I want to but I’m scared.”

“I know. Do you trust me?”            

UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Though I am trembling with fear, I will move ahead bold and confident, taking every step in obedience.

In the fine words of Forrest Gump, “Stupid is as stupid does.” Here’s to not being stupid any longer. (Well, at least on this subject matter.)

Copyright by ReflectionsByPj 20100811

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4 thoughts on “I’m with Stupid!

  1. I was there too when our pastor shared with all of us regarding the men with “courage” — and I too was set free. I think we all need to hear what “courage” really is.

    Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free – John 8:32

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