Today WordPress challenged us to write about something that we have never told. I cannot say that I know of something that I haven’t told, between my family and my inner bubble, my life is an open book, which includes the good, the bad, and the ugly.
It’s a snow day and my children wanted to watch a movie so they chose, “A Night at the Museum”. On the surface, the movie is about a guy who goes to work at a museum and discovers, while working the night shift, the museum comes to life. It takes some adjustment for him to find out the secrets to managing the crazies, discovering a routine, and above all, overcome the obnoxiousness of one ‘devil monkey’. However, there is much more to the movie, it of course includes good and evil, romance, and comedy.
The movie also has an underline theme about a guy, Larry, who is divorced with a son, trying to find his way in self-discovery and become a good dad. His ex has primary custody and he has visitations. The specifics are unknown and unimportant. What is known is that Larry is an inventor of sorts and repeatedly fails at all he attempts, primarily because he never finishes the job. One day, after his sons’ hockey game, they were walking in the park having a conversation. The son tells his dad that he doesn’t want to be a hockey player and that it is time for a fall-back-plan. They discuss this for a moment and the dad says this to his son,
“… I really feel like my moment is coming and everything is going to come together.”
To which the son replies,
“What if you’re wrong? What if you’re an ordinary guy who should get a job?”
Larry then decides to get a real job working at a museum and after the first night, he quits. He’s urged to give it another night and returns to do just that. Near the end of the second night, he decides that he again is quitting. He is again convinced that he should try again. Of course no sooner he agrees to one more night, he is fired. He convinces the boss to give him one more night. Chaos breaks out on this third night and he calls for help. He is told by a wax display of Teddy Roosevelt, who has helped Larry out in the previous two nights, that he must finish the job on his own this night. And then says this to Larry,
“I am made of wax Larry, what are you made of?”
Who knew that a comedy movie about a museum could have such deep inward looking questions?
2010, had its vicissitudes, but near the end of 2010, it was just, well, hell. I was walking through several personal things. I found myself asking if I ever heard from God, if I really did know His voice, and why on earth, if I hadn’t, were others hearing for me from Him what seemed to go hand-in-hand with what I was in the middle of? I had decided that I was going to quit school and get a full-time job during the day. My life was, as I knew it, upside down. Nothing made sense. I had had the feeling that the moment was at hand, that everything was going to change and that the season I’d been in was soon to be over. I felt it was in hands reach and though I didn’t know what it was or from where it was coming, it was coming.
Instead came, hell. Hell came and there I was, right in the midst of insecurities, fears, disappointment, unknowing… hell.
I had a few friends that attempted to ‘lift-me-up’ and do all that they could in the way of encouragement. They reminded me that it is always darkest before the dawn. I came to hate that phrase.
I have since come, after much yelling, screaming, and several tantrums with God, to the realization that I do know His voice. There are times that I still question if I’m misunderstanding Him due to earwax but I know His voice. Moreover, if I took a step in obedience, believing it was He telling me to move forward in something, then despite the circumstance, who am I to quit. I must continue to walk in obedience, faithfully. I will not yield to things around me, comments said, pictures painted of formed opinions.
Abraham was known as a faithful man, a man who trusted God, and became the only man known in scripture as Gods friend. However, even Abraham had to be reassured of God’s promises. The things God asked of him, he did. He questioned God, he talked with Him, he walked with Him, and he made covenants with Him. What God asked of him, at times, was crazy. Crazier still was that Abraham obeyed. Are you prepared to kill your child because God asked you to do so?
Yes, you may not understand my obedience, it may appear crazy but I must obey, just as Abraham obeyed. I am not made of wax, I am made in the image of God, the Most High, and I am His princess, a daughter of the King. And if I know that about myself, that is, in this moment, what I must believe in even if it’s all I have to believe in – and I’m okay with that.
At the end of 2010, I had made up my mind that I was quitting school and getting a job. At the start of 2011, I have made up my mind that I am not quitting school, instead I am continuing to walk in obedience.
Larry overcame his obsessive need to start something and not complete it. He found that it did all come together for him, though not as he had imagined. It too came together for Abraham, though not the way that he had imagined either. I must trust that it will come together for me and I am positive it will not be at all how I imagined it, instead I am believing it will be better. What are you imagining is going to all come together for you? Whatever it is, I promise you it will not be what you have pictured in your minds’ eye. I would ask you to stop and reflect on this one question,
What are you made of?
Now tell yourself, ‘Ordinary can become extraordinary’.
(You probably didn’t know that I was thinking of quitting school, so WordPress assignment, complete.)
(just 353 to go).