Hollywood – It’s A Trap!

What if life was full of surprises? Oh wait – it is.

What if things were always changing? Oh wait – they are.

Why is it then we get our panties in a wad over the silliest of things? How miserable – not to mention uncomfortably awkward.

I listened to a young lady tell me about how she’s looking for love, expecting more out of love – the “Sweet Home Alabama” type of love. If I gave her any advice worth anything at all, and if she was in the least bit interested in that advice, I hope she heard me when I said to her, “love is not Hollywood.” I’m pretty sure most guys don’t like chic flicks because of the countless innuendos Hollywood suggest a relationship should be while girls on the other hand get entangled in a web of fairy tale happily ever after freshly spun as a trap. Life is not a Hollywood movie (unless based on a true story and even then…). Trust me, I know – it’s a daily, weekly, even monthly reminder I tell myself. I wish I could just say it’s the girls that have never known “love”, yet sadly, women in general have a twisted sort of view of love – thank you Hollywood media. However, the guys don’t get off so easy either… their expectations of what they think love is can be just as twisted.

There was a book that came out some time ago, “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” to which I think I might have read a fraction of at one time, sadly I could not tell you the first thing about it other than it implies that men and women are different. Thank God they cleared that up – I was becoming suspicious. Sarcasm aside – we are different outside of the physical, we process things differently… that whole nature versus nurture theory – men are providers while women are nurturers.

I read an article today on facebook about the importance of the man kneeling when he proposes to the woman he’s chosen – significance of such symbolizes surrender, or so says the author. My question is this, when did it become just the man’s job to surrender? Don’t get me wrong, I believe the symbolism is a nice gesture, I don’t believe it to be as relevant as the daily actions throughout the relationship. In other words, while it’s nice you’re showing me you’ll surrender today, in this moment, what happens when the going gets tough? Does the tough get going? Surrender, at the very least, is an action… the act of surrender is a giving of oneself to another even when you don’t feel like it – often daily.

My plans for the holiday did not occur as I had imagined – it was far better. I enjoyed time with a man that loves me – who would do just about anything for me, of this I’m sure. It’s not a Hollywood kind of love. It’s simply love – our love. He’s wise in things where I’m naïve. He’s funny and witty when I am not. We work hard at the same types of things, yet at very different things. He’s discreetly private 99% of the time while I’m reflective and introverted yet very loud, 99% of the time. And, when he’s had a long, hard, tiresome day, and wants to be left alone he will still humor me if I’m in need with some silly request which is usually some insecurity crap that has found it’s way to the surface from the bottom of my abyss.

My weekend was full of surprises.

My life is changing.

In addition, I’ve traded my wadded panties and gone commando. Hollywood has nothing on me!

Learn to understand the one you’re with while applying some sweet surrender wherever needed – I promise you that you’ll discover that Hollywood has nothing on you either.



People in a Box

Our family this year is giving up specific media items for Lent. There is no TV, no video games, no radios, and no computer (social networking, i.e. Facebook, email – you know, all the things that tie you to a box.) Instead of doing these things we are reading books – together (i.e. the One Year Bible), playing board games – together, making crafts – together, going on walks – together… are you detecting a pattern, a hidden (NOT) message.

I realize as a society everyone looks to Lent as a time to give up his or her favorite food, snack, or drink but sacrificing something that takes you away from time spent with God isn’t always, necessarily, food. This is a call to action, a time of strengthening our faith – braided together as a rope – putting God in the center, at the head of our lives. It is not a time of punishment. It is not merely for the who we know as ‘the Catholics’ – side note: the word Catholic means universal; the catholic church as we know is often referred to the Roman Catholic Church (i.e. the Pope) but a Catholic is nothing more than a branch of the orthodox church and if you consider yourself to be a Baptist, Methodist, Pentecostal, Presperterian, Nazarene, well then, you are merely a branch of the orthodox church. If Lent wasn’t too good for the disciples, why should it be for me – This is a time to build our relationship, a deepening of our faith, a time to learn how to deeply and fully depend on God.

I realize we are now on day 22 of our 40-day journey and my family has not been 100% successful in our attempts however, we pick ourselves back up from our falling, brush ourselves off, and begin again.  I will tell you something, you’ll be surprised at what an 8-year-old and 14-year-old will get excited about, I indeed was.  I’d like to challenge you to consider sacrificing something that is possibly interfering in your daily time spent with God. It’s never too late to begin, everyone and everything has a starting point – what is yours?

As for me and my family, we are giving up people in a box! (for your viewing pleasure I’ve attached a video and the lyrics that say it best – be sure to watch it from beginning to end.)

Copyrighted by reflectionsbypj 20100310

Artist: Farrell and Farrell – Album: Jump to Conclusions – 1985

 (Verse 1) Well I rolled out of my bed I was feeling semi-dead so I wandered from the bedroom to the coffee
Then I woke up to the sound of little people all around and it was noises from that TV there beside me
And they told me what to wear how to smell and do my hair and how to charge a new car I’ll be buying
I just sat and soaked it in are these people all my friends? never dawned on us that they could all be lying…
(Chorus) People in a box T.V. personalities They show me how to live In specific generalities People in a box Out of bed tune ’em in How much do I learn from people in a box?
(Verse 2) Well I completely bought it all revolving credit wall to wall without a payment to September ’89
Can I run? Can I escape? Are they alive, or just on tape? They seem so worldly and so welcome to the eye
Heavy pressure from the start T.V. madness filled our heart Black and White, and living color turned to gray.
Daytime soaps – they’re not clean Nighttime cops blast through our screen We’re a Nielson Rating living on display.
(Repeat Chorus)
(spoken verse) Are these sultans of video activity truly the masters of my destiny? Was I created in the image
of Trinitron? Can Jesus ever endorse mediocrity while we consume hours of program philosopy? Will we ever learn that off is as easy to turn, as on?