Hollywood – It’s A Trap!

What if life was full of surprises? Oh wait – it is.

What if things were always changing? Oh wait – they are.

Why is it then we get our panties in a wad over the silliest of things? How miserable – not to mention uncomfortably awkward.

I listened to a young lady tell me about how she’s looking for love, expecting more out of love – the “Sweet Home Alabama” type of love. If I gave her any advice worth anything at all, and if she was in the least bit interested in that advice, I hope she heard me when I said to her, “love is not Hollywood.” I’m pretty sure most guys don’t like chic flicks because of the countless innuendos Hollywood suggest a relationship should be while girls on the other hand get entangled in a web of fairy tale happily ever after freshly spun as a trap. Life is not a Hollywood movie (unless based on a true story and even then…). Trust me, I know – it’s a daily, weekly, even monthly reminder I tell myself. I wish I could just say it’s the girls that have never known “love”, yet sadly, women in general have a twisted sort of view of love – thank you Hollywood media. However, the guys don’t get off so easy either… their expectations of what they think love is can be just as twisted.

There was a book that came out some time ago, “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” to which I think I might have read a fraction of at one time, sadly I could not tell you the first thing about it other than it implies that men and women are different. Thank God they cleared that up – I was becoming suspicious. Sarcasm aside – we are different outside of the physical, we process things differently… that whole nature versus nurture theory – men are providers while women are nurturers.

I read an article today on facebook about the importance of the man kneeling when he proposes to the woman he’s chosen – significance of such symbolizes surrender, or so says the author. My question is this, when did it become just the man’s job to surrender? Don’t get me wrong, I believe the symbolism is a nice gesture, I don’t believe it to be as relevant as the daily actions throughout the relationship. In other words, while it’s nice you’re showing me you’ll surrender today, in this moment, what happens when the going gets tough? Does the tough get going? Surrender, at the very least, is an action… the act of surrender is a giving of oneself to another even when you don’t feel like it – often daily.

My plans for the holiday did not occur as I had imagined – it was far better. I enjoyed time with a man that loves me – who would do just about anything for me, of this I’m sure. It’s not a Hollywood kind of love. It’s simply love – our love. He’s wise in things where I’m naïve. He’s funny and witty when I am not. We work hard at the same types of things, yet at very different things. He’s discreetly private 99% of the time while I’m reflective and introverted yet very loud, 99% of the time. And, when he’s had a long, hard, tiresome day, and wants to be left alone he will still humor me if I’m in need with some silly request which is usually some insecurity crap that has found it’s way to the surface from the bottom of my abyss.

My weekend was full of surprises.

My life is changing.

In addition, I’ve traded my wadded panties and gone commando. Hollywood has nothing on me!

Learn to understand the one you’re with while applying some sweet surrender wherever needed – I promise you that you’ll discover that Hollywood has nothing on you either.



In Favor of Another

Relinquishing Control

Surrender: a) to give oneself up, as into the power of another, b) submit or yield to some influence, course, emotion, etc; c) to yield or resign; in favor of another

 “Surely, Surely, I say unto you…”

“You have heard it said… but I tell you… “

The New Testament is filled with the words of Jesus instructing us as how we ought to live. We know, as Christians, that we are to live pure and blameless until he comes again. We know that we may be the only reflection of Christ that a person may ever see. We know that when we pray we are to pray “Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be your name…” but what does us knowing what to do really mean.

As a Christian, we like to use the word sacrifice. Jesus was the sacrificed lamb, taking on the sins of the world, in order for us to have life forevermore. We are to mirror his life, his perfect life… imitating him and the instructions he has set out for us.

The words and life of Jesus = Life Instructions for Dummies

I believe that we confuse the word sacrifice and surrender. I will go so far as to argue that it is easier if we use the word sacrifice rather than surrender. If we tell ourselves that he sacrificed himself for us he becomes a gift, He is something he gave to us. We are able to keep him neatly contained in a gift-wrapped box tied with a bow on top. But, did Jesus really sacrifice himself for you and me?

Jesus’ life was not about being a sacrifice for us. His life was about teaching us how to live a life that is completely and fully surrendered to God. If Jesus were simply a sacrifice, undoubtedly, as any human would, he would have removed himself from the possibility of the cross. No man can or would humanly sacrifice himself for all the sins of the world. And Jesus was human, lest we forget.

Jesus’ life and death was to teach us to surrender to a God that created you for a relationship with him.  Jesus tells us that he comes because his father sent him. His first act of surrender was agreeing to come as his father requested.

Everything Jesus ask of us is for the father – forgive others so your father will forgive you; be perfect as your father is perfect; ask your father in heaven and he will give you what you ask; you cannot know me [Jesus] without knowing the father; and countless other examples. Jesus was in favor of his father.

“Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done…”

“My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.”

Every facet in our walk with Him should be a life of surrender. When we trust, we surrender. When we forgive, we surrender. When we love, we surrender.

To say that I surrender my life to Him is much more difficult than saying I will sacrifice my life to Him. To surrender means you relinquish control whereas if you sacrifice you are a martyr, a victim, and the one in which everything then revolves around.  Jesus’ death on the cross couldn’t possibly then be simply a sacrifice, the cross, if anything, is not about Jesus, it is about the hope of salvation for all the world.

God wants us to surrender to Him and in that surrendering we will find more than we could ever hope or imagine because our focus has changed – we are no longer about the sacrifice of our life rather now we are in favor of another to give us life.

When I look at the cross, I no longer see simply a god that sacrificed himself for me, instead I see a man who surrenders to his father, fully and completely – I want to be like that man, fully and completely surrendered.

Are you living a life of sacrifice or surrender?

Arms stretched wide, hands unclenched, heart beating; life you give, fully surrendered – spirit, soul, and body – in order to make all things new again. ~ Pj