Hollywood – It’s A Trap!

What if life was full of surprises? Oh wait – it is.

What if things were always changing? Oh wait – they are.

Why is it then we get our panties in a wad over the silliest of things? How miserable – not to mention uncomfortably awkward.

I listened to a young lady tell me about how she’s looking for love, expecting more out of love – the “Sweet Home Alabama” type of love. If I gave her any advice worth anything at all, and if she was in the least bit interested in that advice, I hope she heard me when I said to her, “love is not Hollywood.” I’m pretty sure most guys don’t like chic flicks because of the countless innuendos Hollywood suggest a relationship should be while girls on the other hand get entangled in a web of fairy tale happily ever after freshly spun as a trap. Life is not a Hollywood movie (unless based on a true story and even then…). Trust me, I know – it’s a daily, weekly, even monthly reminder I tell myself. I wish I could just say it’s the girls that have never known “love”, yet sadly, women in general have a twisted sort of view of love – thank you Hollywood media. However, the guys don’t get off so easy either… their expectations of what they think love is can be just as twisted.

There was a book that came out some time ago, “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” to which I think I might have read a fraction of at one time, sadly I could not tell you the first thing about it other than it implies that men and women are different. Thank God they cleared that up – I was becoming suspicious. Sarcasm aside – we are different outside of the physical, we process things differently… that whole nature versus nurture theory – men are providers while women are nurturers.

I read an article today on facebook about the importance of the man kneeling when he proposes to the woman he’s chosen – significance of such symbolizes surrender, or so says the author. My question is this, when did it become just the man’s job to surrender? Don’t get me wrong, I believe the symbolism is a nice gesture, I don’t believe it to be as relevant as the daily actions throughout the relationship. In other words, while it’s nice you’re showing me you’ll surrender today, in this moment, what happens when the going gets tough? Does the tough get going? Surrender, at the very least, is an action… the act of surrender is a giving of oneself to another even when you don’t feel like it – often daily.

My plans for the holiday did not occur as I had imagined – it was far better. I enjoyed time with a man that loves me – who would do just about anything for me, of this I’m sure. It’s not a Hollywood kind of love. It’s simply love – our love. He’s wise in things where I’m naïve. He’s funny and witty when I am not. We work hard at the same types of things, yet at very different things. He’s discreetly private 99% of the time while I’m reflective and introverted yet very loud, 99% of the time. And, when he’s had a long, hard, tiresome day, and wants to be left alone he will still humor me if I’m in need with some silly request which is usually some insecurity crap that has found it’s way to the surface from the bottom of my abyss.

My weekend was full of surprises.

My life is changing.

In addition, I’ve traded my wadded panties and gone commando. Hollywood has nothing on me!

Learn to understand the one you’re with while applying some sweet surrender wherever needed – I promise you that you’ll discover that Hollywood has nothing on you either.

 

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